Dianna ’s POV

A pair of strong arms wrap around me from behind. I startle a bit before I realize that it’s just my step brother Josh.

"Another nightmare?" Josh's voice is heavy with sleep.

I nod weakly, feeling his breath against my neck. "Yeah."

I have had the same nightmare every night since my mother's car crash years ago. I was used to woke up with scream and sweat, it's painful but I didn't tell anyone, including my father. I just learned to calm myself down and tried my best to sleep again by recalling the happy times I had with my mom, and pretended nothing had happened the next morning, saying goodbye to my father with smiles and went to school to maintain the straight A average I’d worked so hard to achieve.

But everything changed after my stepbrother Josh joined our family. He heard my screaming from the first night, and insisted on coming to my room every time he heard it.

"Still the same dream?"

"Yes," I whisper.

I don't like his tone. I hated that he sounded mad instead of comforting. I hated that he was obviously angry that I’d woken him up again..

Josh groans "Dianna, I need to move to another room that next to yours. I haven’t been able to sleep through the night since you moved in."

I couldn't hold my anger. "Well, I'm sorry for being tormented by past trauma, but it’s not like I can control it."

Josh has never been the gentle, affectionate type. But no matter how much he complains, he always ends up here, in my room, the moment my nightmares kick in. I wonder why he bothered to do that. Is he trying to make me feel worse about the nightmare that is tearing me apart slowly?

“You need something that will help you sleep through the night. Sleep deeply, so that you don’t dream.”

"I’ve tried. I even took medication, but it just messes with my focus at school. I can’t afford to lose my scholarship over this."

I feel his chest shake with silent laughter, "Of course. Your precious GPA."

I frown and pull out from his arm. "You say that like it’s a bad thing. Do you have any idea how hard I worked for that scholarship? I’m not about to lose it just because my nightmares won’t let me sleep."

“Hey hey, no need to get feisty,” he says.

“If my nightmares are really that big of a deal you could always sleep in another room or take naps during the day, if it’s so damn important” I shoot back.

"You could always take naps during the day."

"Are you telling me to schedule my days according to your issues? I don’t think so, Dainna." He says. Even with my back to him I can feel his crystal blue eyes are burning into my skin.

He’s always been like this. Staring at me, watching me, observing me. He has always paid me attention even though he insists he doesn’t care.

As step-siblings, Josh and I have lived together for about five years now. We got along very well in the early years, but as time went by, we both grew up. I’m now in my final year of highschool while he’s an adult. SO there isn’t that much we have in common anymore.

Both our parents are doctors. My dad met his mom at a seminar and immediately hit it off. After they got married they quit their jobs and enrolled in the Doctors Without Borders initiative, traveling the world and saving lives. Which also translates to months away from home and being stuck home alone with Josh.

I turn and face Josh. "Just… get out, you’ve made me feel like shit, so your job is done. ," I add, "I doubt i’ll be able to fall asleep again tonight, so you don't have to worry about me waking you up with my nightmares."

I turn my back to him again. He can leave if he wants to. We both lay there in silence for a while, I was hyper aware of every slow breath he took behind me, when he finally shifts, I don't know I feel happy or sad cause he decided to leave finally, but then I feel his body inch closer to me. The mattress groaning under his weight.

The space between us now is just mere inches and I make an effort not to shift my body closer to him and fill up the space.

I jump when he speaks again, the sound of his voice pulling me from the aftereffects of my nightmare. I wish it had only been his voice that surprises me – but it is his words that knocked the breath from my lungs.

"Maybe it isn't just your screams that keeps me awake, Dainna, Maybe it’s something a lot simpler than that."

"What do you mean?" I ask.

He inches closer again, reducing the gap between us. This close I can feel the heart from his body emanate from him.

"I’ve seen the way you watch me. Diana," he says slowly, the sound low and soft. "I know you’re into me."

“What!? No! Why would you think that” I want to say it but I don't. My eyes darting back and forth. I don’t turn around to meet his gaze because I’m worried I'll admit it immediately the moment I open my mouth.

I can’t deny it. How could I? Since I was thirteen, I’ve been captivated by him. By his unruly behavior and bravado. At thirteen, I hadn’t known the difference.

I’d mistaken his blatant arrogance for confidence and charm. I guess being a little bit of a jerk only seemed to enhance his attractiveness in my eyes.

Over the years I’ve seen him, with my own eyes, seduce countless girls. Whenever our parents are away I see him entering his room with a different girl, every night sometimes two girls at a time.

"I… that was foolish of me," I manage to say, "There’s no way I’m not going to let you play with me like those other girls."

The mattress dips even more when he leans forward. His mouth is so close to my ear that his warm breathed rolls along my neck and cheek, his lips tickling the rim of my ear when he say.

"I don't want you to be one of 'those' girls, Dainna," he murmurs, "But…" he continues, his voice trailing off, "that doesn’t stop us from finding a new way to help you sleep better."

Dianna ’s POV

Josh’s hand slides from my stomach to my thigh, his fingers pressing gently as he pulls me toward him. I try to ignore the warmth of his body against my back, but the contact sends a tremor through me. I tell myself to breathe, to stay calm, to not let him affect me. But then his arms wrap around my waist, and I know I’m losing this battle.

“Josh, I have a boyfriend.” My voice is so soft I barely hear myself.

He sighs, his breath hot against my neck. “That guy? What’s his name again? Come on, Dainna. We both know he’s not enough for you. He can’t do the things I'm willing to do for you.”

“Liam is a good person.” I say with a firm voice.

“Is that it?” Josh’s voice is laced with amusement.

I open my mouth to say more, to defend Liam, but my mind is blank.

At first, I thought I loved him. I really did. But as time passed, something shifted. I realised he couldn’t satisfy me sexually as I’d like. The passion dimmed. And now we’re on the verge of breaking up. Josh knows this.

Damn him. I hate how easily it is for him to see through me. It’s infuriating and annoying and frustrating, but I can’t deny that he makes me yearn for him.

“Nothing else to say about your precious boyfriend?” he teases, his hand moves slowly, until it slips beneath my shirt. His fingers brush against my skin, sending shivers down my spine. I should push him away. I should tell him no. But when he reaches my breast, when he plays with my nipple in a way that makes me weak, I let out a soft gasp and lean into him.

“There it is,” he whispers against my ear. “That’s what I wanted to hear.”

His head rests on my shoulder, his lips ghosting over my skin. “Do you like it this way?” he asks, his voice seductive, full of heat.

I close my eyes, biting my lip, trying to regain control. But I can’t, no man has made me feel this way before.

He hums in amusement. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

I should protest. I should tell him to stop. But I don’t. My body betrays me, arching into his touch, craving more. I hate this. I hate that he has this effect on me. I hate that I can’t fight it.

“One time,” he murmurs, coaxing me. “Just this once. No one has to know. It could be our little secret”

My body already wants this but my mind is still trying hard to resist him. I don’t want to make it so obvious that I find him attractive. But how can I? When everything about him enthralls me. He is tall and handsome, dangerous and mysterious, and unemotional. Even though he's a jerk most of the time, he's also very smart. Probably my only gripe is that after highschool Josh never went to college, instead he spends most of his time hanging out in bars.

“Will it really help me sleep better?”

Josh grins, that damn cocky smile. “Oh, sweetheart, you’ll be sleeping like a baby after I’m done with you.”

I don’t answer. I can’t. Because deep down, I know he’s right. Deep down I want him to make me moan and scream like the other girls he brings home, I hear them most nights and I’m almost envious. I keep the thought to myself for now.

I tilt my head, pretending to think, Josh watches me with that insufferable smirk, knowing he’s already won.

This probably doesn’t mean anything to him, it’s probably just another fun night with a girl. I’m sure he’s used to it by now. But the thought of him fucking me makes me get completely wet.

Alrighty,” I say finally, “Let’s give it a try. But you better not disappoint me. I don’t want to waste my time.”

I am using him as much as I assumed he is using me. For him, this was meant for nothing more than pleasure and another notch on his bedpost. For me, it was to feel anything besides the pain of a nightmare that wouldn’t let me go.

He leans back on the bed, his arms tucked behind his head like he owns the place. That arrogant smile lingers on his lips. “Let’s do this then. Climb on.”